"Wrong lead, Gina!" I called out over my shoulder to the rider on the bay. He used to be a nice horse. Heck, they'd all been nice horses.
"I know!" She huffed in return, waiting until they had landed after the oxer and lurched into a trot. "We can't do it any other way. Charlie's about to drop a leg."
There was that feeling in my stomach again, the mixture of pity and sadness each time we lost one. I'd had that feeling a lot lately as, one by one, The Change claimed its next victim.
Showing posts with label Apocalypse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Apocalypse. Show all posts
Friday, June 28, 2013
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
I'm Still Here and You're Still Here. You Know What That Means....
Dance-Off!
Okay, not really. It just sounded exciting. I'm still in my pajamas weighing the pros and cons of doing anything else besides nursing my current mug o' joe. So far, nothing has been so important that I've moved.
The ringing in of 2013 was anti-climactic. Some tummy issue sidelined me from my family's annual karaoke/card game party, so I curled up in bed with my laptop, a tall glass of water (I'm a lush), and a couple of Twilight movies I haven't seen in ages but try to avoid watching when Mr. Ohboy is around. My husband is my biggest fan and would sit through a Twilight marathon if I begged him to--and secretly, he would like it just a little bit. That's the kind of thing he holds over my head, though. Eventually I pay a price for such injustices to his manhood.
But, getting back to New Year's Eve... The house was mine. Empty. Friends, I have never lived alone. Never. Maybe someday my own voice will echo back to me and I will miss the sheer chaos. For now, the solitude is as close as I will come to straight-up magic. My family's party could have gone for a week solid, and it would have been the next best thing to laying on a beach somewhere with a fruity drink in my hand. Sadly, the boys returned at about 11:30p.m., and we flipped on the t.v. ten minutes before midnight only to see Carson Daly and his female co-host holding a conversation they wouldn't shut up about until 10 seconds before midnight. Horrible--I want Dick Clark back.
Anyway...
Uninterrupted, I managed to plunk out a little over 1900 words, reaching my re-re-revised goal of 38k by the end of 2012. Shortly after the ball dropped, bringing in 2012, I was snuggled up with my laptop. A year later, I am in the same place, same characters, different story. My eyes opened this morning, and my first thoughts were, "Now what happens with my characters?"
Well, no. My first thoughts were, "Coffee. Where's my coffee?" But, the two kind of go hand-in-hand, so it's almost the same thing. The point is, clearly I am where I am supposed to be.
The end of the world didn't happen, not yet, unless we're already smack dab in the middle of the zombie apocalypse and we just haven't noticed. So what are you going to do to bring yourself to the place you want to be? I'm not talking resolutions, because there is something about a resolution that screams "You know I'm too hard. Quit already." It has to be something else--something you go for with fire, because failing isn't an option if you ever want things to change for the better.
Maybe you're stuck on a big picture, when focusing on a single baby step is enough to begin. Every journey starts with a single footstep... or keystroke... or glass of water. Take that single footstep every day and by this time next year, you're at least 365 paces closer. But I bet you're closer than that because momentum in one area of our lives tends to push us to take a step or two (maybe more!) along the way.
So tell me what your journey is, and one baby step you'd like to take to get there. Can I help you, even if it's just cheering from the sidelines as you baby-step your way through a year?
Okay, not really. It just sounded exciting. I'm still in my pajamas weighing the pros and cons of doing anything else besides nursing my current mug o' joe. So far, nothing has been so important that I've moved.
The ringing in of 2013 was anti-climactic. Some tummy issue sidelined me from my family's annual karaoke/card game party, so I curled up in bed with my laptop, a tall glass of water (I'm a lush), and a couple of Twilight movies I haven't seen in ages but try to avoid watching when Mr. Ohboy is around. My husband is my biggest fan and would sit through a Twilight marathon if I begged him to--and secretly, he would like it just a little bit. That's the kind of thing he holds over my head, though. Eventually I pay a price for such injustices to his manhood.
But, getting back to New Year's Eve... The house was mine. Empty. Friends, I have never lived alone. Never. Maybe someday my own voice will echo back to me and I will miss the sheer chaos. For now, the solitude is as close as I will come to straight-up magic. My family's party could have gone for a week solid, and it would have been the next best thing to laying on a beach somewhere with a fruity drink in my hand. Sadly, the boys returned at about 11:30p.m., and we flipped on the t.v. ten minutes before midnight only to see Carson Daly and his female co-host holding a conversation they wouldn't shut up about until 10 seconds before midnight. Horrible--I want Dick Clark back.
Anyway...
Uninterrupted, I managed to plunk out a little over 1900 words, reaching my re-re-revised goal of 38k by the end of 2012. Shortly after the ball dropped, bringing in 2012, I was snuggled up with my laptop. A year later, I am in the same place, same characters, different story. My eyes opened this morning, and my first thoughts were, "Now what happens with my characters?"
Well, no. My first thoughts were, "Coffee. Where's my coffee?" But, the two kind of go hand-in-hand, so it's almost the same thing. The point is, clearly I am where I am supposed to be.
The end of the world didn't happen, not yet, unless we're already smack dab in the middle of the zombie apocalypse and we just haven't noticed. So what are you going to do to bring yourself to the place you want to be? I'm not talking resolutions, because there is something about a resolution that screams "You know I'm too hard. Quit already." It has to be something else--something you go for with fire, because failing isn't an option if you ever want things to change for the better.
Maybe you're stuck on a big picture, when focusing on a single baby step is enough to begin. Every journey starts with a single footstep... or keystroke... or glass of water. Take that single footstep every day and by this time next year, you're at least 365 paces closer. But I bet you're closer than that because momentum in one area of our lives tends to push us to take a step or two (maybe more!) along the way.
So tell me what your journey is, and one baby step you'd like to take to get there. Can I help you, even if it's just cheering from the sidelines as you baby-step your way through a year?
Thursday, December 20, 2012
It's Not the End, But If It Were....
If this were the end, I'd want you to know:
I cared a lot more than you knew. So many times I bore your burdens around my shoulders and let them press heavy against my throat. Sometimes I made seemingly foolish choices trying to help you or protect you, and the scars remain red on my flesh. Just because I hurt myself--and perhaps you, the one I hoped to help--doesn't mean I would change a thing. We all need friends who will come beside us and carry us through; at times, there is a toll taken on beasts of burden. And that's okay.
You matter to me, and others, in some way. If you ever reach the end of a day where loneliness is your only companion and it all seems so worthless, I pray that somehow you remember that you add meaning and color--no matter how subtle--to all around you with every breath.
There is a hope for each of us. My hope has a heavenly name, God. I do not know if He is your hope, as well, but it is my deepest longing that you have a hope of your own.
You are loved.
I cared a lot more than you knew. So many times I bore your burdens around my shoulders and let them press heavy against my throat. Sometimes I made seemingly foolish choices trying to help you or protect you, and the scars remain red on my flesh. Just because I hurt myself--and perhaps you, the one I hoped to help--doesn't mean I would change a thing. We all need friends who will come beside us and carry us through; at times, there is a toll taken on beasts of burden. And that's okay.
You matter to me, and others, in some way. If you ever reach the end of a day where loneliness is your only companion and it all seems so worthless, I pray that somehow you remember that you add meaning and color--no matter how subtle--to all around you with every breath.
There is a hope for each of us. My hope has a heavenly name, God. I do not know if He is your hope, as well, but it is my deepest longing that you have a hope of your own.
You are loved.
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